Every once in a while I wonder if God hears my prayers, sees my frustrations, understands my fear, or if he even knows I exist. I try to stay positive and do the “self-talk”, meditation, and relaxation techniques that are so frequently suggested. Most of the time it only leads me to more questions, more frustration, and a whole lot less serenity. Today as I was evaluating these thoughts it dawned on me….God moves constantly and often times we are so busy and self-absorbed that we do not even notice it.
My mind went back to April of 2011 and with that recollection it became crystal clear that God does for us… what we cannot or will not do for ourselves….whether we realize it or not. In April of 2011 my sister-in-law had been told by the doctors that her cancer was terminal. She heard it….I heard it…..but my brother had been unavailable at that particular appointment. My sister-in-law had determined that she did not want to tell anyone this news. She wanted to fight this disease and not have folks worry. What was I going to do?! I cried, I pondered, I prayed, and about a week went by. I was carrying this information quietly as I was asked to do, however, it felt like a ton of weight was on my shoulders. I felt my brother should know but how could I betray her confidence?
My son was getting married in May of 2011 and I had purchased a dress at a unique boutique about 12 hours from my home. The seamstress had done everything necessary to complete the dress and then was going to mail it to me. I received the dress in April. (You can imagine the stress of planning a wedding and watching someone dying from cancer). I tried the dress on and was horrified! Nothing was right! The length was too short, the sides were pulling too tight. I just stood in disbelief and had my husband look at this mess of a dress. He called the boutique and of course they suggested that we bring it in for review. That meant that we were going to drive all night to be there with an appointment for the seamstress.
I had to quickly let my sister-in-law know that she would need to have my brother take her to her appointment the next day. I made it to the boutique and tried the dress on and then stepped out into the mirror area where the seamstress was waiting for me. She and the other customers looked, gasped, and said…..”How beautiful you look in that dress”. I looked in the mirror and the dress was perfect! There was absolutely nothing wrong with the dress! My husband was standing with his mouth open and just said “I am not sure what happened, but that dress did not look like that at home”. Within 10 minutes of trying on the dress my phone rang with the GOD SHOT. My mother told me that the oncologist had told my brother the diagnosis.
Isn’t it amazing the details that God orchestrated to remove me from the “care taking” position long enough for my brother to get the information that he needed to know. It reminds me of the following scripture: “For nothing is secret that shall not be made manifest; neither anything hid, that shall not be known and come abroad”. (KJV)